Book Blog #344: Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner

 

Title: Crying in H Mart

Author: Michelle Zauner

# of Pages: 341 (ebook)

Genre: Nonfiction, Biography

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Synopsis: In this exquisite story of family, food, grief, and endurance, Michelle Zauner proves herself far more than a dazzling singer, songwriter, and guitarist. With humour and heart, she tells of growing up the only Asian-American kid at her school in Eugene, Oregon; of struggling with her mother’s particular, high expectations of her; of a painful adolescence; of treasured months spent in her grandmother’s tiny apartment in Seoul, where she and her mother would bond, late at night, over heaping plates of food. As she grew up, moving to the east coast for college, finding work in the restaurant industry, performing gigs with her fledgling band – and meeting the man who would become her husband – her Koreanness began to feel ever more distant, even as she found the life she wanted to live. It was her mother’s diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer, when Michelle was twenty-five, that forced a reckoning with her identity and brought her to reclaim the gifts of taste, language, and history her mother had given her.

Review: No one told me that singer Michelle Zauner (aka singer under the name Japanese Breakfast) could write! 

Crying in H Mart caught my attention from the title alone - who is this person, and why is she crying in the iconic Korean grocery store? Little did I know that this book is actually a heartfelt memoir about her mother's battle with her cancer AND Zauner's struggles with identity, culture, and relationships. 

I can't exactly criticize the story. Zauner's complicated yet close relationship with her mom is likely relatable to many people, especially Asian Americans growing up with immigrant parents. For those who can't relate, it provides insight into what it's like growing up as a halfie and how closely food ties into her relationships on her Korean side of her family/family friends.

That being said, while I was reading this book BEFORE realizing Zauner is Japanese Breakfast, I didn't think this story was particularly notable despite being pretty well written. It's an unfortunate reality that many people know of a loved one who battled cancer, and Zauner's struggle with identity is not too different from other books I've read relating to growing up Asian American, as a minority. It's because it's NOT a very unique story that there's a large audience of people who's hearts it can easily touch from being so relatable. 

This aside, the only minor complaint I have is how non linearly the story is told. Jumping back and forth between her parents' past as well as her own past maybe the story a lot less gripping for me, and I found myself not feeling the urge to pick up the book again for days. 

If the topic of Crying in H Mart sounds interesting to you, definitely give it a shot. I almost gave this book 4 stars because I have no regrets reading this book, but I didn't cry over it (at most slightly teared up if I thought hard enough about it) and didn't feel invested in the story. It's also cool to hear more background on the person behind Japanese Breakfast even though I don't listen to the artist's music.

Book Blog #343: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

 

Title: A Little Life

Author: Hanya Yanagihara

# of Pages: 914 (ebook)

Genre: Adult, Contemporary, LGBTQ

Rating: ★★★★☆

Synopsis: When four classmates from a small Massachusetts college move to New York to make their way, they're broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition. There is kind, handsome Willem, an aspiring actor; JB, a quick-witted, sometimes cruel Brooklyn-born painter seeking entry to the art world; Malcolm, a frustrated architect at a prominent firm; and withdrawn, brilliant, enigmatic Jude, who serves as their center of gravity. Over the decades, their relationships deepen and darken, tinged by addiction, success, and pride. Yet their greatest challenge, each comes to realize, is Jude himself, by midlife a terrifyingly talented litigator yet an increasingly broken man, his mind and body scarred by an unspeakable childhood, and haunted by what he fears is a degree of trauma that he’ll not only be unable to overcome—but that will define his life forever.

Review: Only read this book if you want to be VERY sad. 

I went into this book blind; this cover of the "constipated-looking guy"(I now know he is not constipated) kept coming up in my feed, but that was about all I knew of the book. I didn't know that it would be so long and yet so addictive (in the "there's a horrible car crash but I can't look away" type of addictive). It's definitely not for the faint of heart - there's very graphic descriptions about SO many triggers (e.g. abuse, trauma, suicide).

Let's start with the good parts of A Little Life:

• Yanagihara is clearly a very capable, thought provoking writer. The detailed dreamy descriptions of NY conjure a feeling of nostalgia in the reader that is clearly reflective of the characters feelings of starting their young adult lives in the city. Even though this aspect of her writing doesn't drive the plot forward, I appreciated the quality of the writing and how well it invokes the imagery of the setting. 
• I became very invested in the characters, especially Willem and Andy who are such selfless characters.
• I'm a huge sucker for stories about friendship (the turmoil of friendships being tested, the power of having supportive friends), and this book had SO much of this. 
• The story explores a lot of thought-provoking topics: What does it mean to live a meaningful life? What makes someone your parent, your partner, your friend? What is success, what is trauma, how do they define you?   
• It forces the reader to face the idea of growing old, outliving loved ones, or leaving loved ones behind. I consider an occasional reminder of potential loneliness and the inevitably of death to be a good thing. 
• It's a tear jerker (I was crying on and off through the last 20-30% of the book). 

And now the bad:

• BYOB - this is a 800+ page pity party for Jude, who doesn't seem to accept help despite being surrounded by generous, supportive people. 
• Fun drinking game: take a shot anytime a character apologizes. It felt like a majority of the dialogue was some variant of "I'm so sorry." 
• The third person POV switching was actually not too bad in this book (although it was mildly annoying when Yanagihara only uses pronouns, and the reader has to use process of elimination to figure out which male character's POV it is). However, there are a few random chapters from the FIRST PERSON POV where you also have to deduce who's POV it is - it's so random and unnecessary.
• It's way too long. At around 70% through, I couldn't believe this book wasn't over yet and wanted Yanagihara to cut the fluff and get to finishing the story. With the POV switching, there's a lot of repetition of events that could have been organized more efficiently. 
• The story is truly slice of life - characters that don't hold much importance will be randomly introduced as if the reader should already know who they are. Some character get a long drawn out detailing of their background, and then fade into into the background as they become less important to Jude. 
• The lack of diversity amongst the characters in terms of success made this story less realistic. Yes many of them know each other from college, but for so many people in the arts to succeed at such a major scale is just unbelievable. 
• There's some shaky messaging on trauma. Some may interpret it as "trauma will never be forgotten, and the only true escape is death" which may give people that suicide is the best option.
• It's a tear jerker (imagine crying for hundreds of pages, drink water folks).

Yes, I'd recommend this book BUT be prepared for what you're getting yourself into. I felt the sadness from this book even when I was not directly reading it (it's a HUGE downer if you couldn't already tell), so don't read this during a time when it'll affect your enjoyment of other things going on in life.